It was a lovely Saturday.
We kidnapped Riley’s best friend, Isabelle, and took her into the wilderness wearing a dress and flip flops. ‘Cause that’s how we roll. You just never know when we’re going to go rogue. You gots to be ready.
The kids brought their pets along for our adventure. Animals love to be out in nature.
Riley fashioned a baby carrier for hers.
And walked around looking like a fetish video. I don’t think we got even one second look. Apparently a second grader with a dog in her pants isn’t unusual. She eventually added the pink unicorn, but still no looks. It’s hard to phase jaded urbanites.
We brought emergency Cheezits in case things got rough. Again, you gots to be prepared. I think Conor is throwing up gang signs here. We’ve been trying to convince him to leave “the life” but he thinks he’s an OG. Kids these days.
Conor rode his usual mood roller coaster. Usually Riley tempers his moods quite a bit but she had a dog in her pants and her best friend by her side so Conor was left to stew in his own emotional juices. He was ignored by the girls and scraped his knee, but when he discovered that the girls had eaten all of the emergency Cheezits he reached his breaking point.
I’m going to submit this to Kellogg as a new ad campaign: Cheezits, so good they’ll break your child’s heart.
Hubs has a low whine tolerance and grumbled, “Cheezits are ruining my good time.” But he didn’t run screaming into the woods, which I think showed admirable restraint.
He did try to strangle himself with the Camelbak hose but what parent hasn’t, right?
We resolved the issue by forming our own primitive society and declaring Conor the Grand Poobah. We even let him sacrifice a virgin. Nobody we knew or anything. We’re not savages.
After the virgin sacrifice other people became especially willing to bow down before him. Conor enjoyed his position of power.
On our way home we witnessed a multi-car crash and Hubs got to leap from my still-moving car and be the first responder on-scene. Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of that, as negotiating the pandemonium with three kids proved tricky, which is probably why cops and fire fighters never have a Bring-Your-Child-To-Work day. However, I hope you’ll enjoy this Matchbox version of the crash with a large alligator inserted for additional flair.
We ended the day with Riley melodramatically declaring that her life was over for a week until Isabelle returns from a family vacation, “if she dies, I will die” and Conor monopolizing our only bathroom due to a little Cheezit-induced constipation, “I’m going to sit here for awhile and look at the stars.”
Just a typical Saturday at the Redican house. I hope all of you enjoyed your weekend as much as we did.