I would like to thank Lolo over at Lolosofocused for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger award. It seems to me that most blogging awards are part spam and part pyramid scheme (both of which I have a deep aversion to) but it is still extremely nice to get a shout out, so thank you, Lolo.
Check her out. She’s young and edgy. At least that’s the way her blog reads. She could very well be a 90-year-old man, masquerading as a young, edgy female blogger for all I know, and if that’s the case I say, Nicely done, Mr. Lolo, sir! Be Careful getting up from your computer. I don’t want you to break a hip.
Alrighty then, here are the rules for accepting this nomination:
- Add the award to your blog.
- Thank the blogger who gave it to you and include a link to their blog.
- Mention 7 random things about yourself.
- List the rules.
- Give the award to 15 or more bloggers
Here are 7 random things about me for your reading enjoyment.
- I was born in a doctor’s office and taken home naked in a medical supply box. This is part of why I’m extremely low maintenance. It’s hard to be a Prima Donna when you started out naked in a box.
- I’m a beer snob. I was raised in the Northwest, the micro brew capital of the Universe. It left me with exceedingly high standards. Coors makes me throw up a little in my mouth. See? Complete snob.
- I was once dramatically thrown out of a youth group function by a priest. To this day I have no idea why. One minute we were sitting on the floor watching a movie and the next minute the priest went all “The power of Christ repels you!” and booted me out the door. The incident left me with an aversion to priests and a general distrust of the Catholic church, which is interesting because I have a history of dating Catholic men (Hubs included).
- I’ll probably never get a tattoo because I have a deep fear of commitment. The fact that I committed to one man for the rest of my life is a minor miracle and one that I think deeply shocked my father. That’s as much commitment as I can manage, so body ink is out.
- One of my sisters was a call girl so I have a deeper knowledge of that industry than your average law-abiding citizen. In high school I babysat the children of call girls and once waited in the car while my sister was working. None of my sister’s friends looked like Julia Roberts.
- Until just a few years ago I had a phobia of libraries. I couldn’t go past the front desk without having a complete anxiety attack, which sent me running home to my bathroom. Snakes and spiders didn’t faze me, but libraries were terrifying. On the other hand, book stores have always been some of my favorite places. Apparently I’m an elitist bibliophile. Or I was terrorized by a librarian in another life.
- My mom took me to a commune when I was 6 years old. All of the kids were naked and dirty and everyone was eating bean sprouts and carob. I was a little repelled by the whole thing. I still find the combination of carob and naked butts distasteful.
Okay now here’s where I get a little rebellious.
I can’t in good conscience forward spam. Not to save little Timmy’s life or because I love Jesus or even because I got a really bitchin blog award. And I’m pretty sure that everyone I would nominate has already been nominated to win this award because they rock. Obviously. Or I wouldn’t be nominating them.
So I will list some people whose blogs I like to read. They are certainly deserving of this award, but I’m not going to penalize them for being awesome by making them jump through hoops. Feel free to check them out. I do on a regular basis.
Gemini Girl In A Random World–funny, thoughtful and good-looking, you know, just in case you’re into reading attractive bloggers.
Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman–like David Sedaris with a law degree.
Finding Gravity–I appreciate anyone with a self-deprecating sense of humor and a love of 90s hip hop.
The Book of Alice–bite sized morsels of her kid’s cuteness.
My Toddler Peed In The Fridge–you come for the pee, you stay for the stories.
The Ugly Moose–micro fiction, you know, teeny tiny stories for the ADD in all of us.
Don’t Forget To Feed The Baby–don’t you just hate parenting blogs that have it all together and make you feel bad about yourself? Yeah, this ain’t one of those.
I’ve probably forgotten a couple because I’m operating on half speed today. Some days are like that. Even for a Versatile Blogger.
Fathead Follies 
YAAAAAAAAY! This gives me so many warm fuzzies that I might just turn into a little puppy and kiss your doll face! Yaaaaaaaaay!
Oh good! I love puppy kisses. Keep up the good work!
Interesting that you are commitment-phobic, yet library-phobic, which funtions on short term commitment, yet love book stores, which funtion on long-term commitment. (I’ll see if I can’t come up with a more convoluted sentence for your next post. Don’t count on that, though – too much of a commitment.) 😉
I’m a complicated woman and inconsistent by nature. I look forward to possibly seeing a more convoluted sentence–no pressure though.
OK, on top of your awesome seven thingies (the call girl angle rocks the most), you listed me before my blogging bestie, Cristy Carrington. I’m not saying that MEANS anything, or was intentional, but I’m a mildly competitive person and Cristy always kicks my ass. Plus as an aging blogger, I love being called attractive. xoxoxoxo
I don’t know if Cristy kicks your ass, but she certainly kicks mine. That girl can write 2000 words of funny every single post while I can’t remember where my keys are. I attribute it to her law degree. That said, you have a great balance of funny and poignant and a genuine gift of language. Plus you’re cute.
Sorry to get back to you so late, but I’m waaaaay behind in my blog reading. I can assure you that if I’m funny, it’s probably in spite of my law degree. But I love, love, love you forever and ever for even including my name in the same sentence as David Sedaris. Almost as exciting as it was sharing the same breathing space with him. Okay, maybe not quite as exciting, but really, really cool.
This is a great honor and I’m so pleased that YOU like ME!
Unlike my BB, Stacie Chadwick, I’m not at all competitive. I’m glad that she was listed ahead of me. I’m also really thrilled that you mentioned how attractive she is. It doesn’t bother me one bit that you didn’t refer to my looks. I’m sure it’s just because you were running out of space. It’s okay. Really. I’m totally comfortable with Stacie being the “Veronica” and me being the “Betty.” I’m sure Archie marries Betty, anyway. Even if he dreams of Veronica at night. Grrrrrrr. Erm, sorry about that. I sometimes growl when I’m really, really happy for other people…like the uber pretty AND funny Stacie Chadwick. Must be nice to be humorous and brilliant and gorgeous. Again, like that bestie o’ mine. Not that I would know. I’ve always been the smart girl. Or the funny girl. You know, like Janeane Garafolo…and that’s much better than being like, say, Julia Roberts. Yeah. Much better. Really. No, I’m fine. I don’t need a tissue. Just go away. (sob)
Up until now I’ve had to judge you on your eyes, a section of forehead and your glasses. I found them fetching (especially the mischievous eyebrow arch) but I naturally assumed that the rest of your face was bearded and you were hiding it in deep shame. I personally find bearded women rugged and attractive but I didn’t want to bring it up if you were sensitive about the subject. Come to find out, you’re not bearded at all (or have had the best facial waxing ever) and were just taking a cute, quirky photo. My bad.
I’d always assumed that bloggers were largely unattractive and now it seems that I have a blog roll full of attractive women. People are going to assume I’m trolling for babes which is not at all the case. I like you all for your blog content. The fact that you are attractive is purely coincidental. The fact that I like to imagine we all hang out and go on fun road trips together should probably not even be mentioned. (Awkward pause.)
Okaywellloveyourbloggottogosogoodnight!
Damn! I knew I shouldn’t have shaved off my ‘stache!
we ALL started out naked…. in a box.
She’s awesome. So are you.
Thank you for staring truth in the face (e.g. None of my sister’s friends looked like Julia Roberts).
Let me tell you, truth wasn’t very attractive. And sometimes truth was was missing some teeth.
Here’s my truth: My mom didn’t have any friends so I was saddled with that role and during a late night talk fest with me (she talked, I tried not to fall asleep) my mother expressed how much she loved me by saying, “Sometimes I’ve had to sleep with men in order to pay the rent, just so you would have a place to sleep.” It did not give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside but still I verbally applauded her dedication as a mom hoping it would release me from the conversation so I could go to bed…after all I was 12 and it was 2am.
Wow. I can almost hear your response in my head.
I think this is why we get along, Jessica. We sense within each other a strange and sometimes horrifying personal history. And we both like food and cocktails. And you’re cool. There’s that too.
Thanks, Fathead!
I must kvetch, though. You mentioned two of my blog buddies’ admirable attributes–Stacie’s attractiveness and Cristy’s J.D.– but I got nothing. I’m going to hope on CCL’s bitch and moan bandwagon and mention that I am 1) not ugly, 2) the proud owner of a JD. Other stuff, too, but I’ll keep the faux complaint short.
Cheers!
Ha! I guess by “Versatile Blogger” they meant “able to start a small feud.”
I was unaware of your credentials. I actually listed Cristy’s because I’m so impressed by her ability to be verbose and entertaining at the same time. I can be verbose but it’s rarely entertaining. And I think that perhaps I’m trying to justify the fact that I don’t possess her talent, as in, “she can write 2000 words of funny because she has a law degree. If I had a law degree I could do that too.” It’s sad really. I should let that go.
I readily admit that my blog roll is filled with attractive women, yourself included. I’ve simply seen more pictures of Stacie and I know that she has received free drinks in a bikini so I thought it was worth mentioning. Frankly I feel a little bad about objectifying her. I hope people don’t think I’m suggesting they should look at her blog merely because she is attractive. She’s so much more than a pretty face.
Your intro, while unimaginative, does mention (to the 5 people who find me influential) what are, I think, your blog’s best selling points: that you’re posts are short and sweet for people who might not have a lot of time and that they are filled with cuteness, so the small amount of time people have to invest is well spent and will send them off with warm fuzzies. The fact that you are smart and attractive is just an added bonus.
I like warm fuzzies. Good enough.
Cheers!