I know that I have been delinquent with my blogging. I do feel bad. I’m just not a great multi-tasker despite what my female gender membership contract promised. I have discovered that when I blog I get precious little else done, which is not good when you’re trying to finish a novel and homeschool a child. And I am. Trying to do both of those things. Because I’m crazy.

So what inspired me to post? Two words: Self promotion.

Anyone who knows me knows that self promotion is something at which I suck. I hate it. But I understand that it is necessary because if no one knows that you’ve created something for public consumption, then no one consumes it and you just have something to stick in a box in your attic for your grandkids to discover when they are sorting through your effects.

I think about things like this–mostly when I’m out of beer and the house needs to be cleaned.

What I’m trying to tell you is that I’ve finally finished my book. That’s right, as much as I’d like to sit on it and tweak that f*cker forever, I realize that at some point I just have to declare it done and release it into the world to be shat upon by internet trolls. It reminds me a little of parenting, except that my book has never asked to borrow my iPad, clogged the toilet or been horrified when I change clothes. So really it’s my favorite child. Please don’t crap on my favorite child.

Fair warning: this is not a book of humorous parenting essays. Why would I want to publish something for which I have already built an audience? Come on, we all know that I’m not ruled by logic. Instead I’ve written a crime story/police procedural and now I will release it in a time of increasing anti-police sentiment.

Timing is my specialty. Seriously, you should see me tap.

However, if you are into crime stories, police procedures, ass-kicking women, ass-kicking men, gangs, developmentally disabled adults, golden retrievers, prostitutes, plane crashes, tacos, strong language and violence check it out! You’ll find all that and more inside!

It’s called Unusual Occurrence, just as the title to this post suggests. Would you like a boring definition of the term? Well here it is!

An Unusual Occurrence is a term used by police departments in reference to an event involving potential or actual personal injury and/or property damage arising from a natural or man-caused incident necessitating the declaration of a tactical alert or mobilization.

Like a plane crash.

I bet you thought that this would be a post about something weird that happened to me, like being attacked by a squirrel inside my car while drinking coffee and driving on the freeway. That would’ve been funny…I’m sincerely sorry. You deserve a good squirrel story.

Anyway, so many of you helped with the book in some way that the acknowledgments page might be nearly as long as the rest of the book and almost as riveting. There’s another reason to check out the book–you might see your name or that of a loved one in print!

It is still a few weeks out from being available but I wanted to give you ample notice because…well I don’t really have a good reason other than I’m really really excited. Really. Excited. Like a Born Again Christian at a Billy Graham revival. Seriously, you have no idea. I’m filled with the spirit, people!

I will leave you on that manic note. You may now return to your previously scheduled business. Thank you.