Spell Check

I smell trouble for this business.

On the upside, they’re making a product that people want. If they were making “Sofas U Loathe” or “Sofas About Which U Feel Ambivalent” they would really be in trouble. But they’re making Sofas U Love. It says so right there on their sign. And who doesn’t want to love their sofa?

Hubs loves our sofa so much that he’s made a butt imprint in his favorite spot. Conor has lovingly smeared it with all kinds of substances to show his devotion. Our sofa is an integral part of our family.

However, the first hint of trouble lies in the fact that they didn’t spell out “you”, opting instead for the alphabet letter with the same sound.  This seems clever until it’s sitting next to the big sign printed with the word “CLEARENCE”. Now they kind of look like ignorant sofa makers. And don’t you want a smart sofa on which to place your fanny while you’re staring blankly at your boob tube?

Now I’m no spelling genius. I’ll admit to relying heavily on Spell Check. But wouldn’t you think that if you were going to the expense of having two giant signs made, you would double-check the spelling? Sure they only missed one word out of five, which is an 80% success rate, if you’re a glass half full person. However, I feel the need to step into my role as Captain Buzz Kill and point out that the word they misspelled is the biggest, most eye-catching word on the sign. Though spelling isn’t a required skill when building a sofa, attention to detail is and they’ve got two giant details hanging from their store which seem to have escaped attention.

Things don’t look good for this business, UNLESS…

…They’re going for the sympathy factor. Sort of a “We’re struggling so hard that we’ve lost the will to spell” slant. Or even: “We need to sell some sofas in order to afford to educate ourselves.” If that’s their angle, I take back everything I’ve said here. They’re marketing GENIUSES! The Grifters of Furniture Design. Bleeding heart liberals like myself will rush to buy up their sofas in the name of giving back to the community, while furnishing our eco-friendly, equality loving homes. Sales will go through the roof. They’ll be able to afford a luxurious second home in a tropical local and fill it with expensive misspelled signs.

Well played, sirs. Well played.

Tacky Tuesday: House of Davids

If one replica of Michelangelo's David is good then 19 are even better! Throw in some Venus di Milos and gold lion heads for good measure, then frame it out with white wrought iron and you've got yourself a Los Angeles icon.

I used to drive by this house on a fairly regular basis before I got married. Admittedly, the first 20 times or so that I saw it in all of its excessive glory, its garishness seared my retinas. Repulsed yet fascinated, I imagined that inside Liberace played piano while Siegfried and Roy lounged out back by the pool petting their white tigers. I started to look forward to seeing the house, like a drunk friend who never acts right but always entertains. The sheer tasteless audacity of it wormed its way into my heart as a testament to all things gutsy enough to thumb their noses at good taste and let it all hang out.

Thus when I packed my kids into the car to take them on a field trip to witness this piece of true unabashed LA tackiness and we found it stripped down and looking like a normal house, I was a little heart-broken.  I’m sure the neighbors are relieved. The neighborhood is certainly more dignified. But sometimes dignified is a little boring.

And so on this Tuesday, I’d like to send a shout out to the House of Davids and all things that over shoot good taste. You might be tawdry, but you also make the world a more interesting place. Thank you.

In Case of Emergency

I love this man. Without him my life wouldn't be half as entertaining.

I returned from my walk today to find this in my living room. Forgive the picture quality. That’s my hubby doing some End of the World Conditioning. He likes to be prepared for any situation. If there is an explosion of nerve gas and someone needs to take an emergency run on a treadmill, he is ready. Laugh all you want but when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives and we’re all running around in a panic, my hubby will be kicking zombie ass and taking zombie names. He also works out in a gas mask at the beach in the wee hours, so if you see someone who looks like a serial killer, don’t panic. It’s probably my hubby. Unless the person is carrying a butcher knife and plastic wrap, in which case it actually is a serial killer and you should RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!